As I Lay Dying

Have you ever noticed how silence is deafening, more so than any scream could ever hope to be. It hangs thick in the air now, blocking my ears until only my ragged breathing and pounding heart could be heard. I could feel the sticky pool of blood spreading out around me, rapidly growing in size, coating my skin like some cruel, sadistic mockery of a comforting embrace.
Gingerly I lifted one weak hand to touch the gaping hole in my chest, flinching as my callused fingers gently probed at the rough flesh beneath my fingertips. How bitterly ironic that I would die here, amongst the blood-stained snow of a land that I had abandoned to its own foolish mistakes.
The bodies of my fallen comrades littered the ground around me, weapons that been taken up to defend their homeland now driven through their bodies, the smell of death would permanently stain this field with the colours of the past. Some still lived, I could hear their screams of agony as they were tortured, or, even worse, dragged off to become some monsters toy.
I almost laughed at the thought of myself being tied to strings and paraded around for a few moments of dark amusement, it was rather like how my life had turned out, would have laughed if not for the blood that filled my mouth and made me splutter if I so much as took  a breath. Shadowy oblivion danced at the edges of my vision, ink blackness swirling with shapes of angels and devils both.
I was dying, and I knew it. With every drop of blood that slipped from my body, my hourglass was becoming emptier and emptier until there was nothing left.
Some say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die, but I saw only one face. Then again he was my whole life. He was as I remembered him, smiling perfectly with pearly white teeth, messy black hair falling into his eyes as he tried clumsily to master swordplay. He never had quite perfected it, instead choosing to fumble along and somehow that had worked for him.
I refused to remember when I first saw the beginnings of darkness flicker across his features, the taint that had darkened his soul and poisoned his heart. I saw it when he sat on that grand throne, growing distant and cold as I forever stood in his shadow. I saw it in battle when he fought like a man who had nothing to lose, when in the contrary he had everything. I saw it when he attached the first strings to me and manipulated the heart I had given him into doing such atrocious acts that I still would not think of them. I would take these secrets to my grave, quite literally.
He had never known that I loved him. Never took the time to notice the way I tried to grasp every moment that we shared, but it was like holding water and even though I had wished that it wasn't true slowly those moment's disappeared. He hadn't known as he walked down the aisle, laughing and smiling in a way that never reached his eyes. He hadn't known as he kissed her, went to bed with her, and had a child with her. No he had never known and now he never would. They say to pray for the ones you love on your last breath, but I only prayed for one person. Perhaps he had been the only one I ever truly loved.
I watched, as I drew my last breath, the way the snow fell from the heavens, like the gods had decided to give me this one last wish. The pure white would wipe away any sign that I had ever existed, like I had always wanted. In the morning they would come and hold a funeral for us and then I would just be another nameless soldier who had died for her king. No-one would know the secrets I held too close to my heart to let go. A wise man had once told me to live with no regrets but at my last sight of frozen white as I fell into the cold embrace of Lady Death herself I regretted everything. Life could have been so different. I could have been so different.